Teaching Children Self-Care: A Guide for Parents
As parents or guardians, we hope for our children to be kind and care for others. But teaching our children the value of self-care is just as crucial. Self-care isn’t just for adults — it’s a lifelong skill that our children and youth need to learn and practice. Here's how you can help your children understand and embrace self-care.
What is Self-Care?
Self-care is taking the time to do things that you enjoy, or that nurture and replenish you. Self-care doesn’t have to be something expensive like spending the day at the spa. Usually, self-care is everyday activities that you find calming, fun, or energizing. These activities can be as simple or as big as you’d like, from drawing a picture to going on a vacation.
Self-care also means eating regular meals, getting enough sleep, caring for personal hygiene, and anything else that maintains good health.
Why Self-Care is Important for Children
Children, just like adults, can experience stress and pressure. Whether it’s from school, extracurricular activities, or social dynamics, it’s vital that they learn to manage these stresses. Self-care helps them recharge, maintain balance, develop resilience, and establish healthy habits that will serve them well in the future.
Making Self-Care a Priority
In the fast-paced world around us, it seems there are always things we need to get done, but we can’t let that interrupt self-care time. Treating self-care with the same importance as other responsibilities can help set a good example to our children. Simple acts like getting enough rest, eating healthy, exercising regularly, and carving out time for activities you enjoy can replenish your reserves and equip you to face challenges head-on. Making self-care a priority for yourself can help your children see that taking care of themselves is just as crucial as doing their homework or helping with chores.
Setting Specific Self-Care Goals
Vague goals such as “I will take more time for self-care,” can be difficult to follow. Instead, set specific goals for yourself and encourage your children to do the same. Goals such as “I will read for 20 minutes (or 10 pages) every day after school,” or “I will take a walk with the dog every evening,” are specific and realistic goals that are easier to stick to and more likely to become a routine.
Making Self-Care a Habit
Just like watering a plant once won't keep it alive, practicing self-care just once won't have much impact on reducing stress. Choose activities that are enjoyable and can be done frequently. Help your children pick activities they love, whether it’s drawing, biking, or playing a musical instrument, and encourage them to make it a regular part of their day.
Setting Boundaries to Protect Self-Care Time
Teach your children that it's okay to set boundaries to protect their self-care time. Their well-being is just as important as anyone else's. This can be as simple as turning down a playdate if they feel tired or choosing a quiet activity over a noisy one when they need to unwind. If they need your support in saying “no”, consider ways you and your child can do this together.
Every Little Bit Helps
A few minutes of self-care is better than no self-care. Encourage your children to take breaks, whether it's a short stroll or a healthy snack. Sometimes taking a pause from an activity can be energizing, making your child more productive or attentive when they get back to their tasks.
Unhealthy Activities Don't Count
It's important to distinguish between healthy self-care and unhealthy behaviors. Overly engaging in numbing activities such as social media scrolling, overeating, or other detrimental behaviors may momentarily mask uncomfortable feelings but ultimately lead to greater issues. Promote positive and healthy self-care practices instead.
Consistency is Key
Don’t stop a routine even when your child is feeling great! Maintaining a consistent self-care practice will help your child prioritize healthy activities for years to come.
Lead by Example
Remember that children learn a lot from watching their parents. By prioritizing your own self-care, you’re showing them that it’s important. Share your self-care activities with them and invite them to join you when appropriate. Also, if (or when!) there is a day that self-care isn’t prioritized because life happened, don’t sweat it. You and your child can make a plan to start up the routine again.
Teaching your children about self-care is giving them a valuable tool for life. By helping them develop these habits now, you're setting them up for a healthier, happier future. So, start today — take that family walk, have that quiet reading time, and enjoy the magic of self-care together.’
Here are three other helpful articles about ways to encourage your children to create self-care habits:
11 Simple Self-Care Habits for Kids – by PBS
Teach Your Kids the Value of Self-Care by Creating Healthy Habits – by The Gottman Institute
Teaching the Importance of Self Care for Kids – by Slumber Kins
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